My boyfriend Tate* is a gamer. He loves it all - Dungeons & Dragons, Warhammer 40k, MMORPGs, single person games, online, offline, you name it. I don't even know enough about that world to list them all, but he loves 'em.
Now, if you think gamers are antisocial nerds, I'm here to tell you, you are sadly and sorely mistaken. Though we're both introverted by nature, Tate is much more social than I am - out at the local gaming store or gaming at a friend's house at least three or four times every week. He calls me in the evenings as he's driving home from a D&D game, laughing and recounting stories of that night's shenanigans as I sit nursing a glass of wine with "Modern Family" on pause, Lottie in my lap, listening. His stories, his creativity, and his enthusiasm make me smile.
Since we live an hour and a half apart and both work full-time, we only see each other on weekends. When we started dating last fall, it was with the understanding that Sundays would be our day together, as he'd already committed to spending Saturdays at a friend's house playing an intricate, highly developed game with a detailed story-line that would suffer from his absence.
Then, one day a couple of weeks ago, we were Skyping when he said, "So I'll be able to come and see you on Saturdays more now cause I won't be going to the gaming house."
I was surprised. "Why?"
"Ben* said he doesn't want me there anymore."
Since we're not 13 and this isn't a Disney after-school special, I needed more answers. "What are you talking about, he doesn't want you to come over anymore?"
Tate's not one to get into heavy emotional stuff. "Well, we kind of had a disagreement about the story and he said he didn't want me to come back."
I was still floored. "But aren't you really good friends? Don't you go over there on Friday nights too?"
"Yeah, I'll still go over on Fridays I guess. For now," he said flatly.
I looked at him, waiting. He looked back at me.
"I'm sorry...I don't understand! He said don't come back, just like that?"
Tate sighed. "Look, this has happened before. Ben's always been this way. His story is more important to him than his friends."
And that was that.
It's been about three weeks now and I'm still having trouble with this concept.
He's just that way. It's how he is. The story is more important than the people.
Is that how God is?
Tate thinks so. When we talk about God, sometimes it's as if the two of us are speaking different languages - or at least different dialects. He thinks it's arrogant to believe that God cares about the intricacies of our lives. "God cares about nations, about ages, about whole groups of people," he said once. "Modern Christianity has turned faith into being all about each individual, and it's not. That's a selfish way to view God."
I used to believe that God had a plan, a purpose, a specific calling and will for each of our lives...and then the bottom fell out. Now, well...I don't know what I believe anymore. I can't say that what Tate thinks doesn't make sense. It does. It's just totally different from everything I thought I believed up until now.
Is the story more important to God than the people?
*Names have been changed.
Why do we prioritize?
ReplyDeleteIt sounds like a dumb, basic question, but it's important. I make a budget to prioritize my money. Why? Because I only get a certain amount of it, so I need to optimize how it's spent. The same is true for my time and energy. When something is limited, we have to prioritize one thing over the other to use it as effectively as possible.
It's very difficult, because of our own experiences, to NOT project that onto God's will. We ask, if God had to choose between caring about me and caring about an entire nation, which would he choose? That's a strictly hypothetical question, and in no way practical; God will never have to make that choice!
Even if I asked you to imagine a situation where you had unlimited resources and asked what you'd do with them, you'd probably still place limitations on yourself in your answer! You'd still be worried about having certain amounts of time for things and how much multitasking you can handle, while God has no such concerns.
Look at Jesus' example. He preached and told stories, but he also took care of the people. If He had only told a story, we'd have a lot of great sermons, but nothing more. If He had only dealt with the people, we'd be missing a lot of great teaching!
On top of all of that, though, are the people and the story separable? What story exists without characters?
I don't think that God cares more or less about the story or the people both because God doesn't have to choose and because the people ARE the story.