"That's why I love sales," my manager said, leaning over the little wall of my cubicle and grinning slightly, the way he does when he's sharing a truism. "To do a job like this, you have to have yourself together. You have to be self-assured enough - you have to have a sense of your own value and know your own worth and be secure in that - to do it well."
As I've mentioned, my manager is a smart guy. We seem to have a strength of communication and exchange of ideas, he and I. Even so, in that moment, I froze inside. I nodded in agreement as he kept talking, waxing philosophical as he often does...but inside, my mind was racing.
You have to have a sense of your own value. You have to know your own worth.
If we had stayed together, today would have been my two-year anniversary with my ex-boyfriend.
There was never really a time, from the Friday evening we met at the beginning of October 2011, that we weren't dating, but he hemmed and hawed at making it official for four months - probably, again, out of fear.
I'd been thinking about that today, off and on. During the busy bustle of the office, amidst phone conversations and notes and emails and tasks, whenever I took a moment to pause, to breathe - the date swirled around me. Memories pulled off their cloaks like dusty statues and showed their faces again.
Know your own value. Know your own worth.
I remembered that, shortly following our breakup, he checked a dating site in my living room as I made him breakfast the morning after I helped him pack his late father's truck so he could move three hours away.
I remembered that he spent my 30th birthday party three months later texting with another woman.
I remembered that he didn't even bother to call the weekend before my best friend - and one of his very good friends, as well - went to prison for seven years.
Know your own value. Know your own worth.
I remembered all those things, and I've come to a conclusion.
I am worth more.
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