I've been reading a new book called "Meaty," written by Samantha Irby. It's honest, vulnerable, heartbreaking, and hilarious, and I can't seem to put it down.
She writes a lot about dating and the tragicomedy it is, which I can totally identify with in so many ways. She says she's been in love seven times. I've been in love twice, maybe three times - but definitely twice. Neither of those relationships worked out.
At 31, after nearly 15 years of dating and almost all of those experiences ending in jagged, devastating heartbreak, I was reading this book when I stumbled across one of the most starkly truthful narratives I've ever seen. I have to share it, because I could've written it. These could've been my words as easily as they are hers.
The language is a little salty, so please forgive it; but it's raw and honest and real. Sam Irby, I feel you.
Bitter. Scariest word in the entire dictionary. Meanest word there ever was. Nastiest tasting word to have in your mouth. I would almost rather be called a cunt, right to my fucking face, than to have some dismissive asshole refer to me as bitter. I'm not bitter, I survived a liar. I'm not bitter, I weathered a cheater. I'm not bitter, I sustained a massive injury to the giant, bloody muscle in the center of my chest that is responsible for pumping blood through my entire body. So this hostility you've encountered isn't the result of my ingesting too many sugar-coated romantic comedies and metabolising them into virile hatred for real-life men with all of their salt and their human mistakes. That would be amazing, if I could just skip weathering all of this heartbreak to instead compare and contrast every prospective boyfriend against the character Denzel played in that one movie I liked. But no, I came by these feelings honestly. And I don't accept bitter. Wounded, yes. Traumatized, sure. Grieving, okay. Anything other than bitter. I put too much work in to be callously tossed aside as bitter. Bitter is for someone who hasn't earned it. -"Meaty," page 26
Bitter is for someone who hasn't earned it.
Sam Irby has. And I have, too.
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